I love my little bear...

... i wish there was a bigger word then LOVE. really, sounds stupid. but i do.

whatever that word is, thats what i want to say it and express it to my little bear.


it was a crazy day - we went shopping at the outlets with grammy for mamabear to find something to wear to the WEDDING i'm shooting next sunday (YES thats right. wedding.) and with great luck, trusty Banana came through! So after that successful trip on our way home we decided to get off on a side road because the rain was so bad. first bad move.

after going 10 feet we quickly realized we couldnt see even MORE i wanted to just pull over, but then is when i realized there were trees SURROUNDING us. i'm talking trees that are a few hundred ft. tall. so i kept driving down the really flooded, really scary, really dark street. we finally come to an opening thats at least not TOTALLY surrounded by trees and we wait a few minutes. we turned around and headed back to the highway just to get home. second bad move.

tree - HUGE tree - down across the road. we go back to where we were parked, turn left and try another road. ANOTHER BIG tree down with power lines across the road. Only to do this 2 more times until we finally found a way out. the storm was on top of us driving home. i swear it was a tornado. they said 60-80 mph winds on the news.... yeah we were in it.

and the best part. little bear slept through the whole thing.

I've never been so scared. it was a different scared then i've ever felt. it was a helpless scared. now of course to all of you it sounds like bad weather, no big deal. but to me... it was terrifying. why?? because i felt like i couldnt protect little bear. i felt like no matter where i stopped a freakin TREE MIGHT fall on us - i felt like we were stuck in this scary place and nothing i could do would ensure his safety. it was the first time i felt out of control with him. simply put, i did NOT like it. i still makes my stomach turn thinking about that second I saw those trees and branches falling around us. thank god grammy was there and we were semi-laughing about it - otherwise i might be on the side of the road somewhere paralized with fear! it was very telling about me though. i realized a lot about myself in those few moments.. you know the questions you always ask yourself like 'in a chaos situation how would you react?' well i discovered my reaction.. TERRIBLE. haha I was panic strikened and terrfied. CLEARLY the model for my son. HAHA.. good thing he was sleeping! Grammy on the other hand, cool as a cucumber. I've said it once, I'll say it again, I have a SERIOUS control issue. When things like that happen that i have no control over - anxiety attack, here i come.

thankfully the day got better after that - we came home - nana and papa came over and we had a nice visit playing toys and jackson LOVING his new tunnel before the dinner/bedtime routine.

so after we walked nana and papa out and had some dinner little bear played toys in the bath, got out, brushed his hair, brushed his teeth, got jammies on and read books. The new favorite book -- "Daddy Kisses" - of course its a favorite, right! After books he knows its lights out and off to bed... but tonight, i needed bedtime routine to last a little longer. selfish maybe since he was so tired, or perhaps (as I'd like to think of it!) it was just a little-extra-sneaky-snuggley-staying-up-a-little-late- time with mama! lucky for both of us it was just what we needed. I snuggled little bear with his lovey and a blanket in the glider - whispering 'you are my sunshine' as he closed his eyes and sighed a long sigh as if he was exhausted from such a hard day of playing! I could feel the little breaths on just under my chin as he snuggled his head on my shoulder and into my neck. he wrapped both his arms around my neck and squeezed me, almost as if he was saying, 'i love you too mom.' OF COURSE it melted my heart. and maaaaaybe it created a tear or two. and of COURSE i kept him on my chest for a few extra minutes. okay maybe 15. but it was enough to fill my soul with a little moment that i'll remember forever. i know one day when hes 16 and is asking to take the car to a baseball practice, i can dig up that memory of that little boy snuggled up with his mommy... and then give him the lecture about driving safely realizing THEN i really will be without control of everything he does. (anxiety about that may have just set in......)


........... Jackson David - I love you with all my heart and soul. I loved you before I met you, held you, even dreamed you. Your spirit has filled our lives with a happiness we never knew about. Everyday is a gift you give us and we are grateful to share every moment with you. Between your silly faces, contageous giggle, and precious smile, you have given us more then we ever wished for. These moments are forever. These are the big things. You have grown to be such an amazing little boy in just a year. I can't wait to see all the new things and new adventures you'll bring to our family in the next year. We tell you all the time, but i'll tell you again, Thank you for picking us to be your parents. I will forever be grateful to call you my son. I will come in to kiss you goodnight as we always do every night soon... I hope you are dreaming sweet dreams and you can feel how much I love you..I promise you I will always do everything I can to protect you.. the rest is up to the angels....

I love you more then words...

Love, Mom
xoxo

We're ALIVE I Swear!!!

I swear we're still alive.

Its just been C.R.A.Z.Y!!!!!!!!

You thought you'd see pictures of Mr. Jacksonbear but nope sorry! A little exciting news for this mamabear first.. (work related!)

In the last week:

BRAND NEW CANON 5D!!!!!!!
2 Lenses
430 EX Flash

and a SHOOTSAC!

Yep I'm excited about it.

Now, LOTS to learn - LOTS to go through but in the mean time I've had some fellow photo gals ask me about the Shootsac and what I think of it. I've only had it a few hours but heres the review for those interested... (sorry Alumni girls, repeat post! haha)

here ya go:

Opening the box...


Covers because I like variety and i'm a sucker for cuteness...


the whole kit and caboodle...


side shot...



Okay so heres the deal:

Do I like it - Yes. I think so. I've only had it hours and only wore it around the house (can you see that? how cool am IIIII? haha)

I REALLY like the material. I like that its really slim and fits towards the contour of your body when its on. I didnt realize it was that slim/flat. I like that its not 'in the way' it kind of just fits. I was kind of confused at first! haha.. I guess I thought it was a CAMERA AND LENS bag - but really, its mostly for lenses I THINK??. Can I fit my 5D in a pocket? Yep. No lens on of course. But i can. It says it holds 6 lenses (see side shot) there are 6 compartments - those 6 INCLUDE the spots for your keys, cell phone etc. which I didnt realize either but I think it works. Each compartment is totally seperate which is nice. The three compartments on the side closest to your body have a snap at the top of each compartment. The other three are covered at the top by the switchable cover. I love that the covers are velcroed on but VERY strong velcro. I LOVE how accessable it is - on your shoulder. I've previously been using my Lexpro backpack and I have to say, there has been times that I havent switched lenses because its been all the way over there - or not easily accessable! I like that it can be moved to your back if you lay down, squat down, etc. It definitely doesn't feel in the way at all.

pricey? yes. worth it? i think so. I haven't seen anything that can function the way this does - at least how i imagine it will.

The real test will have to be when I do a session or the wedding I have next week. (YIKES)

Overall, I definitely think I'd buy it again. I like the idea of having everything in one place. I just wish I was a little clearer on the fact that its really a lens back. But that makes sense because you're camera is OUT when you're shooting! :duh haha.. So not that big of a deal!

Let me know if you have any more questions - I'd be happy to give you an HONEST answer!!


________________________

Now onto the Jacksonbear.

Wow is he growing up fast. He is INTO EVERYTHING. even more then before. He climbs ont he couch every second he cant. Thinks its VERY funny. He is really into Thomas. sings a little 'choooooooooooooooooooo' song when he pushes him around the house on the floor. EVERYTHING is STILL a ball. He is just getting too big.

He officially hate the camera so won't ever look at me anymore!

So heres a classic shot--- what does Jackson look like when he sees a ball outside at Grammy's...

"BAAAALLLLLL"




More pictures soon... been so busy with editing.. so sorry for neglecting the blog!! ;)

thanks for still checking in!

xooxox

my husband - my everything.

I have the greatest husband in the world. honestly. in. the. world.

he is the hardest working, most honest, trustworthy, loyal, hysterical, fun, handsome, creative, sweet genuine man i've ever met. when i met him i thought, the other shoe HAS to drop, but really, he is that genuine. how did he end up with ME?! poor guy ;)

not a day goes by that i'm not grateful for having such an amazing husband. he has given me more then i ever dreamed of and truely makes everyday better then the last. If someone had told me years ago this is where my life would be I would have told them they were crazy - I dont deserve this amazing man - but hey I'll TAKE IT!!

Rick - you are the love of my life. you are my best friend. you are my rock. you are my everything. cliche maybe but i mean every word of it. you are such an amazing soul... im so grateful you're mine.

I love you more then words can tell you - I'm so proud to be your wife.

Thank you for sending me these roses -- they made me smile more then you'll know..

If i had more time id be posting a lot more but i have to run now.. stay tuned, im sure theres more to come!!

xoxo
Keri

A day at the park...

These were from the other day, but I'm just getting around to posting them! I have some VERY cute ones of mr. jacksonbear playing this morning but haven't gotten to THOSE either! buried under 5 sessioins to proof.. so dont worry, i didnt fall off the face of the planet, i just might be buried for a bit... for those of you waiting - you'll get your galleries ASAP i promise!

in the meantime - check out the little bear... what a little ham he is these days!!! :)

xoxo
k

See that look!!!!! he was holding onto the bike rack - that look says 'mom, waaaaaatch out, i'm going to CLIMB UP HERE'.. and he attempted. freshy pants!


This was jacksons face as he watched the TRAIN go by (about 20 ft from us!)


jackson DESERATELY wanted this man to play ball with him, he would throw the ball and chase after it YELLING 'BA, BALL, BA, BALL' the man didnt even GLANCE at him. IMAGINE!? who wouldn't play ball with that cute little boy!? he was so sad!!! had to settle for mama ;)

who are the cutest cousins in the whole wide world?

doodle and ms. katie of course!!

thanks for letting me steal you girls :)

Guess what!!!

do you want to know -- do you want to know?!?!?

first- ITS NOT THAT WE"RE HAVING BABY #2. lets clear the air right now!!!!

but it IS that we got to spend an awesome evening OUT with ADULTS -- our good friends lis and dan!! and what made the night EXTRA special... was that we spent it with my boyfriend TIM MCGRAW!!!!!!!! Thats right -- Tim and Faith at the Garden :)

It was so nice to get out and have some fun with friends and not have to worry about if the kids were okay! Thank goodness for Grammy's :)

We sat about 15th row on the left center section - I was DESPERATE to bring my camera but I knew you weren't allowed.. so I just brought my moms point and shoot instead. All I could think about was the shots i COULD get if I had my own camera and lenses!!!! But no such luck -- maybe next time... Since I dont even own a point and shoot my mom was sweet enough to let me borrow hers...

No edits - SOOC ..

Faith looked beautiful but seriously - how yummy is tim!!

Pretty Faith...


LOVE that cowboy hat!!


I love the reflection on this one..


so yummy...


cool lighting!


thanks for such a great night Lis and Dan! We had the best time and definitely needed it!!! Can't wait to do it again soon... hopefully sooner rather then later!

xoxo

a few favorite moments..

Jackson's a busy boy these days... here are a few of his favorite things to do first thing when we are getting dressed and playing!! (NOTE: images not edited... hey its what ya get on a busy week alright!!!!)

p.s. Uncle Richie - THIS is actually the shirt you gave jackson for his birthday... Daddy told you is was the wrong shirt in another post below with food all over his face ;) silly daddy.... look how stylin' ;)


Its official... Jackson's carseat is turned forward facing now and he is LOVIN' IT! (okay, truth be told, he was really this excited because Thomas the Train was coming on the car DVD player. yeah thats right. my one year old watches tv in the car. but ONLY when we go on long trips - like this one when we had to go to NH to pick daddy up at the airport!!!)



a great past time... opening and closing the closet doors..... hmm whats in here?


checkin' things out!


a snack on some paper he found on the floor -- see that grin!!


yeah STILL not supposed to have it and he knows it!!


and of course.. his one of his favorite books.. "Brown Bear Brown Bear"... hehe...

Do you miss us?!

We miss you! :)

Its been crazy - and this week is just out of control!

Mamabear has been busy with lots of cute little munchkin photography sessions (YAY!) and papabear has been busy playing with the jacksonbear and getting ready for work! heres a brief update on whats been happenin around these parts...

-Papabear's at the Red Sox game as I type this. Stay tuned for pictures, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, mamabear actually let the camera out of her hands. SHOCKING i know. mark the date and the time. :)

-Jackson is officially a big boy. We turned his seat around and had the fireman put it in safely!!! Boy does he think THAT's funny to be looking right at mom and dad... its so fun to just look back at him kicking those piggies!!

-He eats just about anything you give him -- recent favorites: (nothing babyfood like!!!!! apparently he's too old!) pancakes, waffles, potatoe pancakes, (spinach potatoe pancakes too!) whole wheat cinnamon toast (with cream cheese!) strawberry cherrios, kiwi, bananas, peaches, applesauce, nutragrain bars, earth's best cereal bars, hummus and mini pita pockets, yobaby yogurt, crackers, turkey, cheese, ham, chicken (fingres, on the grill, roasted, bbq, any kind really!) mashed potatoes, rice piliaf, corn on the cob, pea, carrots, spaghetti sauce, pastina (pasta) pizza, popciles, sherbert, ice cream, guacamole, avacado, strawberries, pears, earth's best cinnamon crackers, and peanut butter and jelly (I KNOW, we didnt go into shock! relax!!)

whats not a favorite: MILK. yeah, mamabears not to psyched about that. who's got suggestions???

-jackson LOVES books. he's always like reading but he is REALLY into books at the moment..he will go to his basket of books in the toy room and bring over a few, sometimes even just sit and 'read them' himself. he even brings his baby einstein book into the bath (waterproof!) we read the same baby sesame books before bed every night and he tries to talk through the whole thing, pointing at each page! when did my little baby get so big?!?!?!?

-he loves to point at everything. especially when he wants something.

-jackson is really getting into Thomas the Train! (YAY!) he carries around the little Thomas and stops dead in his tracks when he sees the show starting!

-he is SUCH a little ham. he knows JUST how to get the attention no matter where we are! - stores, the park, out for a walk, doesn't matter! he does this little fake laugh and cracks everyone up! mr. hambone!!

-he says - mama, dada, nana, papa, bubbles, uh-oh, mimi (grammy) ball (everything seems to be ball!) he makes the animal sounds for: dog, cat, (YES HE DOES AUNTY SHELLY!) lion, monkey, owl, and opens his mouth and really WANTS to make a duck sound but can't figure it out! he points to a rubber ducky everytime! we're still working on horse, sheep, pig etc.... and he does a LOT of rambling!

-He doesn't walk all the time, but he can. hes LAZY! he will stand in the middle of the room and walk over to some toys, but as soon as you put him down he buckles his knees unless HE decides he wants to walk! He loves to walk holding your hand though, and he will walk down the couch or the chair if its near. he also shakes his head no when he doesnt want anything, he gives awesome high fives! he does a little crazy dance when he's being silly, dances to any little bit of music he hears bopping up and down (hysterical!) climbs on EVERYTHING, on the couch, the glider, the glider footstool (his favorite!) on his stroller, on the toy box, on his ride on toys, chairs, cushions, you name it. pray he doesnt figure out how to climb out of his crib! he can sign more, all done, ball, waves buh-bye, blows kisses, plays peekaboo, claps and does headstands! ahha.. oh and he loves to grab your face and give you a big wet kiss... mouth open as wide as he can, while he giggles of course!!

i can't believe how big he is. i swear his 1st birthday came and then BAMN. he's all grown up.

dont even say it. i can hear it already.

#2 isn't on the way YET. relax. :) I promise we'll tell ya when that happens......

In the meantime..we're just enjoying the little man, laughing more and more everyday - so grateful and happy with our family. Can't believe how fast time is going... i guess they aren't kidding when they say a child will show you how fast time really is.

Stay tuned for pictures... Papabear will have some (hopefully!) from the Red Sox and Mamabear will have some for something SUPER special later in the week... check back later to find out what!


the waiting is killing you isn't it ;)

thanks for checking in. the next few weeks should be a little less crazy - or at least it might be - but come to think of it, that never happens so no promises! and yeah, I know - you're still waiting on birthday pictures. dont worry, im still waiting on MAKING the thank you notes. So just consider this a big thank you until you get the real one. we're not ungrateful for everything jackson got i promise. :)

thanks for understanding....

happy monday.

KS